My birthday was this past Monday, March1st. I finally got to pick up my chip tonight. My car broke, AGAIN, but I've been 'waiting' for it to happen. The alternator has been ready to go for a couple of months now.
I called a friend to get a ride tonight. It was the biggest meeting I've ever been to, except of course the ones at conventions. There were about 80 people there. There were a lot of new people there too. It was at the club where I got sober 13 years ago. I haven't been there in very long time. Things look a lot different. When I sat down, I looked up in front of me to see the paintings of Bill and Bob I did in my second year of sobriety for an AA auction. I was shocked that they sold for an obscene amount of money and were then donated to the club.
So there they were in front of me. I haven't seen them in a very long time. Seeing them made me realize how far I've come since then. When I painted them, I signed them with my first initial only. One of the reasons was that I'd already had so many last names. The other was that I thought I was being humble by being 'anonymous'. But of course, everyone knew I was the one who painted them.
Those pictures turned out to be a huge lesson in true humility for me. Every time someone told me how great they were, I always pointed out everything that was wrong with them. I could only see the faults in them. Someone from World Services came down and visited the club one year. He had actually known Bill and Bob. He said that they were the best paintings of them he had ever seen.
That was really hard for me to swallow. I never thought that they were that good. That was when I learned to just accept that God gave me a gift, that I'm very good at it and that other people appreciate and enjoy the results of my gifts.
Seeing those pictures tonight made me realize how much better I feel about myself as a person, how far I've come and how much I've come to embrace and love myself. I wish now that I had signed them.
So at the end of the meeting, they started recognizing increments of sobriety. They started at 1 month and then worked their way up to 9 years and then stopped! I had to get their attention to tell them they stopped too soon! I told them I have 13 years of sobriety and everyone clapped and whistled for a long time! It felt really wonderful. I remember early on in sobriety being so amazed when I some picked up a chip for so many years of sobriety. Tonight, I got to be that person, the example of someone who has long term sobriety. I got to be the person who shows by example that a person really can get and stay sober and have a great life. I feel so good tonight!
3 people asked me to sponsor them tonight. The guy who took me to a meeting tonight happens to be a professor in my department. He said that I don't have time to sponsor people. But that's really up to my higher power. If these women get sober and ask me to help them, it is because it was meant to be. I thanked them for asking me because they are giving me a better gift in sobriety than I could ever give them. I am honored that another person would think so much of my sobriety as to ask me to help them, to pass on what I've learned.
I'm seriously considering going back up there with a sharpie marker to sign the glass of the frame my paintings are in!
